There were ALIENS at Trump’s Inauguration! The above picture is not just an image artifact from 360 degree pictures connected together, but proof of alien life! (okay, maybe not…the article below is written with tongue firmly planted in cheek.)
As many of you probably know, in addition to the side jobs of being a pastor, writer and college professor, my main job has always been tracking the infiltration of our society by aliens and various meta-humans. This hobby calling began in the mid seventies, when, after careful study and consideration, I realized that the government-sponsored and supported group known as “The Justice League of America,” was NOT merely a group of colorfully dressed police-people, but actually a FRONT for meta humans – strange new beings with powers and abilities beyond that of normal men. That group of supposed law enforcement officers didn’t merely include reckless meta-humans but ALSO dangerous orphans like Bruce Wayne, and, most alarmingly of all, ALIENS like Clark Kent, A.K.A. Superman.
NOT a legitimate police force.
As a seven year old, I wasn’t very alarmed that our government sponsored these groups of super-people – I didn’t fully grasp the dangers to our society that these beings would ultimately bring. In recent years, however, my eyes have been opened. Having investigated these things via reliable venues like word of mouth, speculation, rumor and innuendo, I’ve come to discover the shocking truth: Meta-humans and aliens are behind some of the most nefarious events of the last three decades, and I CAN FINALLY PROVE IT. Consider this: what are the odds that England, a far more European country than even the United States (which was itself founded by EUROPEANS…) would suddenly and without provocation decide to RENOUNCE their OWN CONTINENT OF EUROPE and join with the continent of Iceland?? The odds of regular, non-alien influenced British citizens doing this on their own are staggeringly low. The English people, as you well know, are far more likely to enjoy hot tea, like normal Europeans, as opposed to Iceland’s favorite food, Kæstur hákarl. Can you imagine: “Tally ho, mate – I’d like a spot of rotting shark with me crumpets and chips!’ Jimmy the Greek, a European himself, pegged the odds of Brexit happening at less than 150-1. And yet here we are. How did this happen? Believe it or not…it was aliens and meta-humans.
I did NOT make this picture. I FOUND it online – more PROOF of the alien-Brexit conspiracy.
Let’s turn to the world of sports. Just recently, the world of American college football was rocked by what one sportswriter called, “The greatest upset in the ten-thousand plus year history of human striving.” The greatest team in the history of football, the University of Alabama Crimson Tide, were shockingly defeated by a team from the obscure American state of Clemson. HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN? How could Alabama – unanimously considered the most admired football team in history, LOSE? The jarring answer is that Deshaun Watson, the quarterback from the state of Clemson, is both an alien AND a meta-human. And I can prove it.
INCONTROVERTIBLE proof that Deshuan Watson is an ALIEN. (and thus should be ineligible according to NCAA Bylaw 234.2.73.ii, paragraph XVIII )
Finally – consider the most shocking political outcome in American history. Somehow, someway, noted reality TV host and hair-style trend setter Donald J. Trump was recently elected and sworn in as the 45th president of the United States. HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN? Nobody has been able to answer that question….UNTIL TODAY. Today, I am going to reveal the shocking PHOTOGRAPHIC evidence that Donald J. Trump was elected the president of the United States by the timely intervention of aliens and meta-humans…and DOZENS of them showed up at his inauguration to celebrate! Scroll down (past the egregiously interrupting and self-serving commercial break) for the indisputable and undoctored evidence. If you are standing up, then you might want to sit down for this. (Alternatively, if you are already sitting – it may be helpful to stand up. Those readers who are lying down at the moment should be safe.)
Commercial Break:
Dark History Podcast – Coming Soon!
I’ve been involved with podcasting for at least a dozen years, quite possibly co-hosting the first podcast in Alabama history, and working with a few others more recently. I love podcasting, and in the coming weeks hope to launch TWO new podcasts. One with a group of guys that I’ve worked with before. That show, as yet unnamed, will feature a similar group of friends, but a very different format. The hope is that it will be out in early February, but that’s a guess, not a guarantee.
I am also a history major, a high school history teacher, and a current adjunct history professor in college. Along those lines, I’m also working on a solo podcast, with an accompanying series of books, both of which will focus on some of the darker, and hopefully more interesting aspects of history. Currently, shows are planned on topics such as: The Danziger Bridge shootings, The New Orleans Axeman, The Tulsa Race Riots, Bombingham, Project Mk Ultra, the Cleveland Torso Murders, the Donald Trump alien conspiracy (which is NOT made up) and Anabaptist persecutions. As you can tell, those topics run the gamut from the borderline paranormal, to Civil Rights history, religious history and even true crime. We will be looking at some dark and scary periods of time, plumbing the depths of human depravity, hoping against hope to find something (or someone) redemptive in each episode – a light shining in the darkness. If you’re interested in being notified about THAT podcast, then please sign up below. I’m not a frequent emailer, and I will not sell your address to any other company, but will seek to keep you informed about this project. THANK YOU.
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The following photographic evidence is NOT from strange conspiracy sites like Coast to Coast A.M. or Jim Harold’s Paranormal Podcast, MSNBC, or Astonishing Legends, but an actual and REAL news site: CNN. Using technology possibly acquired from aliens, or very smart people, CNN published a fascinating gigapixel photograph of the Inauguration this week. The resolution is so astoundingly high, that you can see mundane things like government servants staring at their phone and acne on people’s noses, as well as more fascinating things like meta-humans caught in mid teleportation. Somehow, our government censors and information czars have not yet taken this picture down, so you can STILL SEE the evidence documented below for yourself on CNN if you doubt a single word of this uber-trustworthy post. NOTE: the pictures below HAVE NOT BEEN DOCTORED BY ME. You can confirm this yourself by looking at CNN’s picture, which is the source for all of the screen captures you see below. Here we go…
Dr. Almost Octopus here has FOUR arms. Normal humans only have TWO. (Count for yourself)
Here we see noted meta-human, One Man Twin, well known for his political interference around the world, as well as his snazzy glasses.
Behold the Japanese Nightcrawler, caught mid-teleport, known simply as “Nightcrawler,” in Japan, where people are not so crass as to add country designations to superhero names. Normal humans are UNABLE to teleport – try it yourself!
NYET! It’s Comrade Nikolai Volkoff. Perhaps you’ve heard that Trump has been compromised by Russia? HERE IS PHOTOGRAPHIC PROOF. A real Russian at Trump’s inauguration…and the mainstream media is too cowardly to report on it. How do we know he is Russian? Simple – he has a Russian hat! QED.
This is noted Batman super villain “Two Face,” (in the red hat.) Sharp-eyed viewers might note his uncle, Double-Face, a couple of rows below him.
One of our observant readers sent me this picture of John “Kitty Pryde” Smith, a man thought to be a spokesperson for Donald Trump. Here we see him WALKING THROUGH A WALL. Ask yourself this: Why didn’t this morning’s New York Time’s Headline scream, “TRUMP ADVISER WALKS THROUGH WALLS!” The answer is that the mainstream media is bought and paid for by meta-humans and aliens. If you don’t believe that – EMAIL them and ask. THEY WON’T EMAIL YOU BACK – thus confirming, by their silence, that they are run by aliens and meta-humans.
Here is a RARE picture, cropped from CNN’s gigapixel photo, of the REAL ILLUMINATI. Not the rich and powerful people who run the world behind the scenes, but the meta-humans and aliens who run the world behind the scenes.
I have literally dozens or more pictures to share but I am concerned that my webserver, running on a Pentium 4, may not be up for the strain of having more than four visitors at a time that are looking at pictures, so I must end here. Remember – the aliens are probably watching this website – be careful. Do you believe? Keep looking! /Tanis
*Note: Some “facts” in this blog post have been fabricated, exaggerated, or completely made up. Also, my wife and most members of the church I attend would like to disavow the content of this post. Please don’t judge them. Also – please remember that this particular article is NOT serious. 😉
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